How To Handle Transitions

Change.

How do you handle change? I’m not a fan of it unless it is positive and benefits me. But change happens constantly and I have been going through a lot of change recently- new job, new city, and new community. There are some days I’m excited about all the transitions and opportunities, and there are other days that I am disoriented, confused, and experiencing grief. I admit that I have not handled all these transitions well at times. But I’ve learned how I can better navigate these changes. Here are some of the lessons I’ve learned and hope it helps you as you navigate through your transitions.

Don’t make big decisions when you are emotional

When you are going through transitions, there are moments when you feel like everything is falling apart. You may be regretting your decisions and questioning if you made the right choice. Anxiety may be flooding your mind. I have gone through the whole gamut of emotions. When you only listen to these feelings of anxiety, stress and despair, you tend to overact and make rash decisions that you later regret. You may try to undo that decision or make another life-changing decision to counter that decision. If so then you are doing it as a reaction. It’s more based on emotions. We are emotional people and feelings are natural. God us that way. However, it becomes dangerous when you only listen and react to those feelings. Rather, it is important to process and pray through them. Here are some verses that remind us that we are not supposed to deny our emotions but rather process and pray through them. Give God some time to help you process, pray and plan how to respond and deal with those emotions.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you. 

1 Peter 5:6-7

do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 

Philippians 4:6

Don’t just see the problems and pain, see where God is.

When the transitions aren’t going the way that you want, it is easy to focus on the negatives. You may feel like your life isn’t going according to plan or there are so many consequences from this change. It is easy to have the view that everything is falling apart or to have the grass is greener on the other side mentality. This can consume you and get you stuck. However, if you can mentally take a step back and see what God sees, then you will have a better view, God’s view. You will be able to see the positives and opportunities. God has a better and wider view of your situation. God has a plan and purpose. If you only see the pain and problem then you lose sight of God’s lessons and learnings. You can miss out on God’s presence and power in those small moments. You may not fully understand why but you can understand that God is still working and moving even in the transitions.

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11

Don’t isolate and retreat, lean in on the community and others.

If you stay in an emotionally difficult place, then that can lead you to detach yourself from others especially those whose life is “normal” or “better” than yours. You don’t want to be reminded of what you lost or don’t have. You don’t want to be around others who have it all as you are in this time of transition. You start to isolate yourself and hang around people less and less. This is a dangerous place to be because it detaches you from the community. You get more stuck in your negative thoughts and feelings. You are made to be in community. You are made to connect with others. You need to lean even more into relationships. You need community during these transitions. It takes a village to go through life, especially in uncertain times and transitions.

not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

Hebrew 10:25

Don’t get out of your rhythms, get back to your habits

Transitions and change are usually good excuses to stop your habits and daily rhythms. Sometimes you need to depending on the scope and size of the transitions. However, this can create an extended time away from doing good things for yourself like spending time with God, exercising, cooking at home or sleeping at a reasonable time. You may trick yourself to think that this may be temporary but the longer that you stop your good rhythms, the more likely that becomes your new habit. It’s important to make a plan to get back to doing those good habits.

You can start slow and start small. It may mean doing your quiet time 2 times this week. It is better than nothing. But it’ll be important to start to build those structures and habits as soon as possible. This will help you make your life feel more normal. It will also help you have a sense of control and power in your week. So no matter what is going on, you still have your regular habits that will ground you through any transitions.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” 2

Timothy 1:7, NLT

Transitions do not have to handicap you. You can take control and see opportunities in them.