What country would you guess is the best place to raise a child among the developed countries?
If you guessed America, then you are wrong. Dead wrong.
In the article, “Best Countries to Raise a Family in 2020,” the United States of America is one of the worst places to raise a child. The United States received an F along with Mexico, and there was no other country among the developed countries that scored the letter grade “F.” The researchers looked at 30 critical components broken into six categories: safety, happiness, cost, health, education, and time.
I was shocked when I read this. This can’t be true. America is supposed to be the land of opportunity and possibilities. I could list a few countries that would be worse than America. Researchers also had suspicions. They wanted to verify if this article was accurate. They analyzed the results and concluded that it was indeed true. Americans are less educated, spend less time with their kids, are less safe, and have high health and medical care costs. If you are a wealthy American, then this does not apply to you. However, raising a child in America is the most challenging place among the developed countries for the average American. Maybe it is time to move to Canada?
If raising a child in America is difficult, I wondered, “What is the worst place to raise a Christian?” Of course, there is no survey or research that we can look to. However, it makes me wonder how the American church is raising and developing mature followers of Christ. How are baby Christians growing up in the American church?
That is the goal of the church. Paul shares that the focus of the church is to develop mature and healthy followers of Christ.
He is the one we proclaim, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone fully mature in Christ.
Colossians 1:8
We spend millions on buildings and church programs, and is that helping to create more mature Christ-followers? I wonder what grade churches would receive in how we are making mature followers of Christ? Do we have an intentional plan that is working? How do you even measure something like that?
One way to measure the effectiveness of raising and developing Christians is found in 1 Timothy 3. Paul shares with Timothy the qualifications of an influential pastor, deacon, and leader in the church.
4 He must manage his own family well, having children who respect and obey him. 5 For if a man cannot manage his own household, how can he take care of God’s church?
1 Timothy 3:4-5
According to Paul, the quality of discipleship in the home is the quality of their discipleship in the church. They can not be a leader in the church if they can’t lead in their home. How well the leader manages, disciples, and leads his family is a high indication of the quality of leadership in the church. If the leader can not disciple his children, how can they disciple “strangers” in their church family?
If you want to know the quality of care and discipleship in the church, then look to how the leader disciples and cares for his family. That will give you tremendous insight into the church culture and discipleship process. Here are some questions to gauge how a leader is doing managing their family:
- What is the quality and depth of their marriage?
- Do their kids respect and obey them?
- What are the values that describe the family culture?
- How does the family handle conflict?
- What is the leader’s intentional plan for their family?
If the leader is intentional with their family, then that translates into their leadership in the church. Discipleship involves relationships. It is also not passive; it is very active. It takes proactive planning and intentional relationship-building to build healthy disciples. When the leader demonstrates that with their family, they will do that with their church family.
My hope and prayer are that we will see healthy and mature families among our leaders in our churches. When they get that right, they will have a better chance of doing it for the larger church body. Let us pray and support our leaders in developing strong and healthy families. That will only make us all more mature believers in Christ.
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